I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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