i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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