Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sorry my hands just texted you
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
