just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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