dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
