i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
