some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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