I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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