so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
