why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
