Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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