Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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