Sponge bath it is.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
COCAINE IS GR8
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
