Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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