For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
