can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
