I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
