your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize