so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize