You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
