I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
