they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
