ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize