so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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