My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
