Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
