please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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