the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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