so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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