if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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