remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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