A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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