he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You are a genius and a whore.
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