then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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