but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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