i may or may not be watching the land before time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
