I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my being single is dangerous.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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