White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
