So drunk its hurt
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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