Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
