I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
