Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
