i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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