so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
