About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
