I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
