I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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