And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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