Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry murphdogg79 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

Fav 38 1751 5380
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

Fav 77 8190 4876
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

Fav 15 1920 4619
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

Fav 6 4081 1084
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

We just shotgunned beers for America

Fav 31 4382 1273
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras

Fav 11 3104 933
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

Fav 7 1581 637
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.

Fav 1 98 141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world

Fav 0 51 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT