it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
