Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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