It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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