I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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