take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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