R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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